Recently I’ve noticed new, small changes to my body which have made me pause and consider. As in, think about the stance I always had on aging. ‘Oh it won’t bother me!’ said I, ‘Wrinkles are a sign that you have lived and laughed in your life, bring it on!’.
Hmm.
Yes well, they ARE. And I do still agree with what I’ve always spouted about aging gracefully and refusing to walk around with skin that looks like it’s been pumped full of liquid rubber or stretched tightly over a drum.
But I must confess there are moments nowadays when the mirror asks a lot of my pure intentions. More than I expected, to be quite frank. In these moments I find myself quietly raising a finger to pull the skin above my eyelids gently upwards “just to see” the difference it would make if I were to… (what? I don’t know!) get something done I suppose, to the slightly sagging skin that is now making its presence felt around my eyes.
It’s confronting, but quietly done because I don’t want anyone to spot me being so vain and frivolous (including myself).
Then there’s that favourite black evening gown hanging upstairs which I must finally acknowledge no longer suits me. Having worn sleeveless tops/dresses for most of my adult life, I am more than a little shocked by the change in my upper arms – when did the muscles start to hang from the bone like loose meat fillets?? And why can’t I make the bodice fit snugly like it always did? Nowadays it bites into my body in strange ways. Looser skin I guess, or something like that.
Geez.
Ah well, chances are I’ll never do much about any of it. I’m too chicken, too poor, a little bit too lazy and even principled on the topic to take any drastic measures but that doesn’t stop me being surprised I even considered it. When you get right down to it, I guess aging is difficult to accept no matter how ‘wise’ you’ve become. I’ve had to work my way through a fair few unexpected health challenges this past year (knock on wood) which shook the balance out of life for a while. Moving away from my private pyjama party on the sofa is a very welcome change let me tell you, with simple things like walking to the bus stop or going shopping for an hour finally back on the agenda. I’m hugely thankful for it.
And yet I can occupy my mind now and then with silly irritations about my skin losing elasticity. It’s too silly.
Maybe I need this little reminder to chill out a bit more.
I’m ready for a good year, I’ve waited and hoped for it so fingers crossed my friends and let’s all be a little easier, kinder to ourselves in 2016. Because life’s just too short for silly worries and irritations.So right now my eyes are looking pretty ok to me, and I’ll be damn happy to go out feeling fabulous in any evening dress, under my own steam this coming year. How’s that for starters!
